Saturday, September 16, 2017

Hawaiian Islands Pidgin Poems By Joe Balaz

Joe Balaz writes in Hawaiian Islands Pidgin (Hawai'i Creole English) and in American English. Some of his recent Pidgin writing has appeared in Unlikely Stories Mark V, Beautiful Losers, Otoliths, and Yellow Mama, among others.  Balaz is an avid supporter of Hawaiian Islands Pidgin writing in the expanding context of World Literature.  He presently lives in Cleveland, Ohio.


Might as well dress up like wun deer
and run in front of wun mountain lion.

Same smell. Same station. Same result.”

Dose wuz da comments
addressed to da television

dat we wuz looking at
in da living room.

Ronald had moa to say too
while we watched da news

about da teenage girl
dat had her leg bit off

by wun shark in Australia.

He continued
wit wun deadpan expression,

“Dere watah.  Dere rules,”

as we wuz informed
how da young person

wen bleed to death
and die on da beach.

Blunt and unfeeling
is wat some people would say

but Ronald
wuz just telling it like it is.

Even his cruel joke
kinnah summed it up

on how he viewed
da whole situation—

“Sharks and me
have wun understanding.

I stay out of dere ocean.

Dey stay off of my lawn.”

Poet Joe Balaz


Eric stay chilling out right now                                              
but last night he wuz off of da chain

cause he wen lose his temper
and false crack his competition at da bar.

Too much alcohol and testosterone
wuz racing through his veins

and screwing up his brain.

He couldn’t handle
dat da adah single guy

sitting on da adah side of da woman
dat he wuz trying to talk to

wuz making moa headway
in da pickup game den he wuz

so he wen figure
he go take care of dat real fast.

following wun idiotic notion

is wat wen ensue.

Da adah guy had no idea
dat wun suckah punch wuz coming

wen Eric wen make his move.

Da uppercut blow

wen catch da victim
right undah da jaw

and he wen collapse
and bang his head on da floor.

He ended up in da hospital
wheah he’s still in wun coma

so dats why

Eric stay chilling out right now                                    
in wun jail cell.

Foa sure
he going face multiple assault charges

cause he wen swing and connect
wit some of da cops dat wen arrest him too.

Da whole situation
will certainly go down
as wun night on da town

dat Eric nevah going forget.

Everyone has da right
to be stupid once in awhile

but it looks like
Eric wen just abuse da privilege.



I’m sending you dis email
to inform you

dat I’m working on some new plasticity

to devise moa ways
to stay ahead of da game.

It’s wun mattah of maintenance, dear,
and it’s absolutely necessary.

Your mood swings on da links
are driving me crazy

but dats understood
as being par foa da course

in dealing wit da opposite sex.

I have to say dough
dat I haven’t seen wun birdie in awhile

and bogeys are piling up everywheah.                              

I don’t even bother to dream
about dat elusive hole in one

cause lately

I’m not even stepping out
of da golf cart.

No wondah certain guys
seem to drink wun extra amount

while sitting dere like sponges
at da nineteenth hole.

Da pressure is getting to me
and I’m tinking about exploring new greens.

Maybe wun different layout
would do me some good.

So I’m going to cancel
da upcoming tee time

while I sort tings out.

Yours truly
and brightly forevah

wit rainbows
and wun cherry on top.



She posted on Facebook one day

dat she wuz allowed to come and go
as she pleased in high school

and dat it really didn’t mattah
if she wuz dere or not

cause latah she received
her GED in one day.

Don’t know how true dat is

but her general attitude can explain
why she’s flipping burgers

and flipping you da bird
every time you disagree wit her.

She’s wun smart aleck hard head
acting like wun know-it-all

and she’s raising your blood pressure
to new heights.

Da good ting dough
is dat at least she’s working

and not sitting on wun couch
watching television all day

wit wun new baby
as wun meal ticket

foa get all kine free social aid.

As to weadah she going turn da cornah
dat remains to be seen.

She’s wun rebel
witout any meaningful claws

but still yet she like make
kitty kine cat fight.

Moa den once
her maddah wen lament

dat she shouddah been wun boy.

It would be really good
if somehow life
would kick her in da rear end

and make her wake up.

Den maybe wun lightbulb
going get turned on in her head

to make her cool her sassy jets.

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