Saturday, March 21, 2015

Rhinos Dancing In Paris

This is page 28 of a lovely children's book I wrote for my four year old, Jack, when he was only 18 months old and had stubby little legs that reminded me of a rhinoceros. I got the book off the shelf a few weeks ago, and he had never seen it, and he said "I don't like that book.." Then I showed him his name was in it and he still was pretty uninterested. Which I think is the proper response. I' hope you'll be interested enough to pre-order a copy of the second printing . It's a nice book. The Toughskin Rhinoceros Wrangler Company

Monday, February 16, 2015

A Good Day At Zombie Logic

I got a late start today. let's be honest, I rarely get moving before noon. Unfortunately, that's when most of the business of a day gets done. I don't really care much about business, though, I make things. I'm in the creative department. Of course, since I am the CEO of Zombie Logic Press, I'm also the accounting, promotions, and janitorial department. If it can be done after sundown I'm your guy. This morning, though, everything happened before I even woke up. For instance...

Zombie Logic poet Jesus Abraham Correa VII was on NPR this morning talking about his book Iced Cream. Pretty cool, right? I listened to the podcast and he even said our name, and they put a link to my blog in the story and everything. Frequently the news source won't even put a link to the website, and sometimes they don't even mention Zombie Logic Press in the story. As if the book spontaneously generated. Concurrently with the radio broadcast this was happening...

For those of you born after the turn of the millennium, those are books. Boxes of them. Arriving via UPS. Jenny thankfully didn't even wake me up to tell me they had arrived. I assumed if there was some egregious error my phone would ring. Silence was golden in this case. All in all a very eventful day here at Zombie Logic Press headquarters. Oh, those are copies of our latest book, The Zen of Beard Trimming. On schedule and under budget. The book release party is the 28th. Then all my energy will turn to the next publishing project, which I still haven't decided upon, despite having multiple options. In fact, once people know you publish books it's hard to leave the house without someone pitching one to you. Shit, if I could just get as many people to buy a book as submit one I'd be on easy street. Nonetheless, even as evening creeps towards late night I'm starting to relax and unwind and think of today as a good one. Zero sales of course. Bought more books this week than I've sold. Fuck, read more books this week than I've sold. Jenny finally got all our Zombie Logic Press books for sale listed in one place.

Sunday, January 25, 2015

The Last Supper Reunion by Bradley Lastname

The Last Supper Reunion

Judas Iscariot arrived at the Vatikkkan Mariott in a broken down chariot,
his horsewhip a lariat, and asked the concierge if their cable
showed reruns of Ozzie and Harriet.
He wanted to bury the bone in his toga,
so they sent up a squaw from the Ticonderoga.
The maitre d' seated him next to the saviour,
and hoped that he'd cease all his whack misbehaviour.

With doubting Tom came pouting Dick who was hairy.
From the maid's cart he swiped all the soap he could carry.
He bought an alley abortion for poor Virgin Mary,
and shared nitrous whippets with a coal mine canary,
he inspected the chocolate square left on his pillow,
and fed it right quick to his pet armadillo.

Christ cheesed off the table when he hogged the tequila,

and saw his own face in his pork quesadilla.

His collection plate let him grease his stigmata.
He wished that he had Hugo Ball for a dada.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Jason Russell of KONY 2012 To Write Forward For The Zen of Beard Trimming By C.J. Campbell

1/2/15 Rockford, IL - Zombie Logic Press is proud to announce the upcoming release of it's 6th book “The Zen of Beard Trimming: Stories of Punk Rock, Poverty, and the Search For Peace” the personal memoir memoir of speaker, writer, and activist C.J. Campbell. C.J. wakes up every day with the weight of the world on his shoulders; shoulders held up by a pair of crutches. The book is a journey of trying navigate a world not built for him as walks through life with Cerebral Palsy questioning everything from Capitalism to the very existence of God. When Campbell is not looking for love with Scandinavian models and a good burrito. He looks to smash the social constructs and apathy by any means necessary. If it means putting his own body on the line by walking 75 miles. This irreverent, brash, and at times heartbreaking memoir also includes a foreword by co-founder of Invisible Children and creative force behind the infamous viral documentary “Kony 2012,” Jason Russell. “The Zen of Beard Trimming: Stories of Punk Rock, Poverty, and the Search For Peace" will be on local store shelves in February 2015 and is available for per-order at 
                   Zombie Logic Press


C.J. Campbell at Conveyor

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Unique Christmas Gift Ideas From Zombie Logic Press and Rockford Illustrating Company

Over the past five years Jenny and I have created a great amount of work that we are very proud of. So much so that we actually forget most of the things we have created. As small business Saturday approaches, I thought it might be nice to set up a small shop here where Christmas shoppers can see some of our best work. Perhaps what I'm most proud of this year is...



Jenny made a lot of cool things this year. This is probably my favorite. It's a chart of Freshwater Mermaids of North America. She put a lot of time into studying the various species of fish to make them anatomically accurate. It turned out great. This really pops full size. 
Mermaids Poster From Rockford Illustrating

What's that? Did I hear someone say they wanted to buy one of MY books? That's nice. Here's how...

Buy Books By Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Monday, November 17, 2014

poetry by riff wilder

riff wilder is the chief instigator of “fauxbrow”, a mix of newbrow and no-brow with early 20th century fauve and surrealism. wilder’s signature style is lyrical and psychedelic. Recent publishing credits include Comets and Criminals, Nite Blade, Chrome City, Chronogram, Goblin Fruit, Existere Journal, Semaphor, Cordite Review.

In the 1990s, while lurking in the east coast art scene, wilder was fined over $50,000 by the City of New York for creating a poster that announced an experimental poetry reading. In response, wilder helped fuel a grass roots community in support of the first amendment in a battle over the rights of artists to create posters. wilder’s efforts were aided by Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth, Allen Ginsberg, Paul Auster, and dozens of other notable artists. This became a cause célèbre, led to pitched battles in Gotham streets, courthouses, and media outlets, and to a precedent-setting, art, music and literature affirming legal victory for free speech. Wilder’s continuing efforts to protect free speech have recently helped a number of artists, including household names, to avoid jail time. from Horror Sleaze Trash

#558: Picture Of A Materialist

                            Despising life,
       afflicted by self-loathing, such a bummer …
                so crammed in behind its wheel,

             A Dandy-Chrome-Wheeled-Hummer.

#641: Silly Old Hound

                                      What he cares for …
                                       Acquiring Power.
                                         Not much else

                                  A never-ending struggle.
                                          Over & over.
                               Scrapping for material gain.
                                   Wanting material gain.

                                 Chasing Chasing Chasing
                                     more material gain,
                                 incredibly short-sighted,
                                        Silly Old Hound
                                           chasing tail.
                             Twisted in ten thousand ways,
                             So Very Many Silly Old Hounds
                                     groping night & day.

                                          Chasing tail.
                                 They rarely do anything
                                        other than this.

  #344: Auto Idolatry

        Longing to write for a major magazine,
                        youthful blogger speaks of it
                                shaking up scene.

                Loud, brassy, shartruce green,
               Cock-Rock-Blowhard Limousine.

                   Pistons pounding powerfully
                  like jackhammers, up & down.
                        Egocentric & vainglorious
                     owner of this boat renowned.   
                         Reveling in recklessness,
                  clueless crackers circling ’round.
             Jokers croaking, “That’s amazing!”
                 Scenesters deem it way profound.

                Loud, brassy, shartruce green,
               Cock-Rock-Blowhard Limousine.

                         Everywhere it goes
                 hot air kissing its windscreen.
               Touting tastelessness a’ plenty,
                bug-eyed noobies call it mean.

                Loud, brassy, shartruce green,
               Cock-Rock-Blowhard Limousine. 

#67: Drilled In Mideast Dirt

                      Senselessy appearing  
              Four Clicks South Of Kyrgysztan,
                    G.I.’s towed in choppers
                      en route to a firefight.

              Grunts are out protecting causes
                      Shrill And Un-American,
                 empowering the heavy-handed
                       tyrants of a distant land.

                 State Department Bureaucrat
                        serving with aplomb,
                  gleefully dispensing monster
                       bunker-busting bombs.

                       Missing targets wildly,
                     wasting tots & toddlers,
                       innocents eliminated,
                    leaving windswept bones.

                  One can’t help but wonder
                      how this comes about.
               Groups of plain folks mutilated,
                          villages wiped out.

                         G.I.’s also shot up,
               holes blown through their shirts.
                 Lives destroyed for oil wells …
                       Drilled In Mideast Dirt.

#89: The Playbill Labeled “Fauxbrow”

                 Viewing much from dizzy height,
                       finding world is in decline.

                         In reveries disconsolate,
                       Little Bo Peep Sits & Sways …
                        wishing for a rocket sled  
                              to carry her away.

                         Initiatives, contrivances
                       otherworldly machinations
                           off of a conveyor belt,
                             electric incantations.

                         Pacing round ghost ship,
                           Keats & Percy Shelley
                             utterly intransigent,
                           bug-eyed mugs insane,
                         noting purple mountains
                              over fruited plains.

                           Clark & Lewis At The Helm
                             course correcting here,
                        apropos resourceful types,
                        twin cartoonlike engineers

                Humming, “Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum,”
                           managing to minimize
                        pet peeves & conniptions.

                                Exercising mind,
                            observing, seeing all.
                          Taking note of players,
                   The Playbill Labeled “Fauxbrow.”

#11: Flagrant Business Sissies

                        Spotlight on the fellers
                       felling old growth trees,
                    profiting from taking down
                    homes of hapless creatures!

                      Unfortunately Financiers
                   screwing planet everywhere.
                         Paving Over Wetlands,
                           calling that a ‘win’

                           Corporate crowds,
                a pestilence spreading once again.
                  Global Warming’s one of many
                            evil things they do!

          Flagrant Business Sissies,
     shortsighted money grubbers
      flaring out in all directions,
            Trashing Planet Earth.

All contents copyright 2014 by riff wilder, POB 210433, San Fran., CA  94121  
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