New Poem From Thomas L. Vaultonburg

Recently I was declared insane by the state. Why did it take them so long to figure this out? Being nuts has it's perks. If people see you shuffling down the streets mumbling to yourself they just say "He's nuts." If you're a poet being legally nuts is actually a job requirement. Here's a poem I wrote to celebrate being declared non compos mentis. Please visit my website Zombie Logic Press

I Am Insane

I am insane

Because I will not

Chase your dollar

Through fields of

Wild Foxglove

I am insane

Because I bay at the

Bloodmoon

And will not bray

At beer commercials

And do not obey

Your traffic signals

I am insane

Because on my switchboard

All calls to Allah, Yahweh,

Jehovah, Zoroaster and

Santa Clause are all

Answered by the same operator

I am insane

Because I held up

The Bank of America

With a holdup note

Composed of haikus

And demanded only

The teller deposit

My .12 residual check

I earned for appearing

On The Banana Splits

As a child.

I am insane

Because to me

The difference between

A story and a true story

Is less important than

The difference between

Schlitz and Blatz

I am insane

Because I interfere

With the re-uptake

Of your serotonin

Re-uptake inhibitors

I am insane

Because in the elevator

Of my psyche

There are buttons labeled

Pluto, Cucamonga,

Kokomo, Sheboygan, Padukah

Algonquin Round Table,

Deep Night and Help

(Don't press that one).