Footprints

Something about this reminds me of the story from Creepshow where Leslie Nielsen says "I can hold my breath for a long, long time."

Footprints 

When I saw 
One set of footprints 
In the sand 

I knew you had 
Made your getaway 
Sometime between Late 
Night and high tide. 

Assessing the depth 
And gate of 
Your footfalls 
I also deduced 
You were carrying 
The Sony Trinitron 
And the plaster-cast 
Impression of the ass 
That caused such a 
Sensation at the 
Renaissance Fair. 

I knew then 
I had been carrying 
Your ass for 
Way too long.