Poetry and Photography By David J. Thompson

David J. Thompson is a poet and photpgrapher who captures street art worldwide.

A Perfect Sacrifice

Jesus played a lot of baseball

as a kid, mostly centerfield,

led Nazareth Central High

to the district championship

his senior year. After that

he played for First Baptist

in the local slow-pitch softball

church league. His last year

they met a team of pagans

from the Roman garrison

in town for the league title.

In his last at bat, Jesus laid down

a perfect sacrifice to move

what proved to be the winning run

over to third. He went to his knees

on the first base line, gave a prayer

of thanks to his God up above

even though he’d been thrown out

by a mile. The Romans started yelling

at him from their dugout, stuff

I can’t repeat about his mom, the Virgin Mary.

They didn’t understand that style

of play then, big, burly guys who relied

solely on the long ball. Jesus said softly

that he forgave them as he jogged off

the diamond and that really pissed off

the Romans, some soldiers were waiting

for him in the parking lot with aluminum bats

after the game. Jesus never showed up

for the team banquet or another game,

and that was many, many seasons ago,

but his teammates keep praying and believing

he’ll show up again before their last at bat.

Photography by David J. Thompson

His Very First Miracle

Don’t tell his mom, but Jesus lost

his virginity on prom night, just like

most of us. His date was Rachel Schwartz,

class valedictorian who left for a kibbutz

a few weeks later and Cornell in the fall.

They were grinding hard against each other

during the last dance to The Long and Winding Road,

stopped at a party at the Ramada Inn where

they drank some Miller Lite and smoked

a little weed, ended up ravenously groping

each other on a ratty couch in the basement

of Jesus’ best friend Peter Stone’s house.

They managed to get naked in high school record time,

and when Rachel called out Jesus Christ!

louder than a tv evangelist, and went limp

beneath him, Jesus knew right away he’d performed

his very first miracle, even if it was the kind

you’ll never read about in the Bible.

One Less Thing To Forgive

Did you see where archaeologists

digging around in Nazareth found

Jesus’ high school yearbook?

His baseball card collection and

Boy Scout badges, too?  All his

childhood crap, the same worthless stuff

our moms got rid when we went off

to college, or is now packed away

invisibly in our basements, attics,

and storage units everywhere.

The newspaper said it was in

what they believe was the dumpster

behind the nursing home where

the Virgin Mary spent her golden years.

She probably just got sick and tired

of waiting for her oldest son to keep

his promise to come back and grab his shit,

so she just stuffed it all in some Hefty bags,

yelled at the maintenance guy to get it

the hell out of there. You can’t really blame her,

I guess, and now that it’s been found

Jesus will have one less thing to forgive

his mom, and one more good reason

to get his ass back here like he promised

so many years ago.