|My kingdom for something firm up my giggy, please.|
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Body Of Richard III Exhumed, Then Re-Buried As a Vampire
Those who adhere to the conspiracy theory that Richard III never really died, but became a vampire and now is secretly pulling the strings at the International Monetary Fund have been foiled this week as the BBC reports the body of Richard III has been found, and much to the disappointment of those who would rather see him as an imposing, Machiavelian schemer, he was really a hunch-backed, feminine twit who died when someone literally shoved a sword up his ass. Kind of a dick shish kabob.
Now that I've been dead over 500 years, you think someone could finally pull that stick out of my ass?
Richard will now be finally be given a proper burial and the debate as to whether he was really such a bad guy after all will go on. Since a lot of what we think we know about Richard III derives from Shakespeare, and Shakespeare was probably shagging the queen, a descendant of the family that killed Richard, it's quite possible Bill might have fudged a few historical facts. One also needs to keep in mind most of what Richard did in terms of doing away with his rivals, including his own nephews, was rather common practice. As required by law...